Most people think that there is nothing positive about divorce; it’s the negative effects that are more obvious and talked about. Of course there is going to be some turbulence and adjustment for the whole family but sometimes divorce can be the best thing for everyone involved.

1. Divorce can be a positive thing when the marriage is a high conflict one and the children are caught in the middle, constantly exposed to emotional abuse and/or violence. It’s not healthy for children to be in an environment where they see such a lack of respect. Few divorces are friendly but once the household situation is diffused by a family breakup the children benefit because by no longer having to live and breathe a terrible situation that has become the norm. They are no longer in the position of having to listen to endless arguments and take sides.
2. For some families being under one roof doesn’t work. Long working hours, never ending bills and constant stress impacts on their family life and no matter how hard the parents try to keep the family unit together they can’t. In this situation separation can be a good thing. It can bring great relief for the children. Especially if the parents have been open and vocal about how they feel about their problems and each other in front of the children.
3. Some parents find a way to get along for the sake of the children once they are no longer living together. When the children are no longer exposed to the ongoing hostility in their living environment, they benefit tremendously. While they miss living with both parents, ultimately they are much happier when they aren’t dealing with adult problems. If parents can remain friendly post-divorce the children will learn that relationships don’t have to break down completely. They can be changed into something else. If they see their parents acting maturely at a difficult time they will have more respect for them and they will learn that this is the way you deal with problems in a civil way.
4. Children need good parenting and it may be that they haven’t had any since the marriage started to fall apart. Parents can be so focused on the problems in the marriage that good parenting is distinctly absent. It can return! Divorce can help both parents become better parents as they learn to value their time with their children more and to re-connect with them. Children will always be affected in a positive way when a parent shows that they love and care for them.
5. Children who have gone through a divorce can reap the benefits of spending one on one time with each parent. Despite the difficulties of divorce, one on one time is a great bonding opportunity for parents and children to experience. There will be less time, but the quality of time spent together is usually increased because the parent is totally focused on the children and the time together is valued more.
6. It’s possible that when Mum and Dad live in separate houses the children may be introduced to new children their age so they may have more friends. Mum and Dad may eventually get re-married or co-habit with someone who also has children. For a child that is an only child or wants more siblings this can be a good thing. In the same way that if Mum or Dad move away to be closer to their immediate family for more emotional support the children will get to know their extended family better.
7. Divorce can sometimes bring out the best in children especially older children who have siblings. They want to protect their younger brothers and sisters, being compassionate and making sure they are okay. It can bring out a maturity and strength beyond their years. Especially girls. Some are quite happy to take the role of nurturer and see Mum or Dad not being around as a sign to take on more responsibility.
8. Children of divorced parents can also have a better understanding of life. They can be more helpful in nature, caring and tolerant because of their experience. The fact that they have had to go through the parent separation can give them practical skills such as problem-solving skills. If handled right, children can mature and evolve and develop in ways that they wouldn’t have done in a married environment.

Divorce can be positive but it is down to the parents to make it this way. Get in touch today and let me help you to help your children.